The word “retirement” seems to be thrown around a lot by race-car drivers.  So much so that it has reminded me of an exchange in Rob Reiner’s classic movie, “The Princess Bride.”
In it, Vizzini, the would-be criminal mastermind, keeps saying, “inconceivable” to describe the multiple scenarios taking place around him he did not anticipate. Mandy Pantinkin’s character, Inigo Montoya, replies, “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
For the record, in this context, retirement means to walk away, to leave.
That seems to be the hard part for race drivers. Either that, or they all think retirement is a synonym for short vacation.
Personally, I have attended at least four press conferences during which drivers announced their intentions to “retire,” presumably because no one would show up if they were to announce that they were going on vacation.
Mark Martin, Michael Andretti, Gil de Ferran and Arie Luyendyk all said they were hanging up the driving gloves and hanging out the gone-fishin’ sign.
That quartet doesn’t include Bill Elliott and Terry Labonte, who also “retired” only to come back over and over again. Elliott has been at it so much since his alleged retirement that he has had to announce his re-retirement after this season.

“I wouldn’t suggest that it’s some sort of addiction that you can’t stop. But one of the things that is neat about motorsports is that you can still be competitive as you get older. In other sports there are physical limitations, and you don’t see people competing at a high level in their forties and fifties. That’s different in motorsports. There are a lot of older drivers in all types of racing that are pretty good drivers.” — Frank Hawley

Martin went so far to say that he didn’t want to drive for anyone other than Jack Roush and work with anyone other than Pat Tryson as his crew chief. Since then, in retirement, Martin has driven for Bobby Ginn and now Dale Earnhardt, Inc. Tryson is Kurt Busch’s crew chief.
Both Andretti and Luyendyk have unretired several times for the month of May at Indianapolis. Andretti was still in search of the elusive Indy 500 victory that has escaped him. Luyendyk wanted to drive the race with son, Arie, Jr., but I get the feeling he would’ve come back if Arie, Jr. had been working in a paint store in Des Moines.
A couple of months ago, de Ferran, who retired in his prime from the IndyCar Series, announced his return to the track with the American Le Mans Series. Granted, running a 12-race schedule with ALMS isn’t exactly a full-time gig, but just more proof that these guys start missing the smell of gasoline and burnt rubber after a while.
But the most recent — and most surprising — un-retirement has been from former NHRA Funny Car champion Frank Hawley. Hawley is coming back after 18 years to drive for Mike Ashley’s Gotham City Racing and team with Melanie Troxel on a part-time basis.
Eighteen years?
Brittany Force just got her NHRA license on Thursday, and she’s 21, meaning she was three years old when Hawley retired from competition against her father, John.
But Hawley said it was not an all-consuming desire to get back in the car that has brought him out of retirement and away from the drag-racing school he runs in Gainesville, Fla.
“I wouldn’t suggest that it’s some sort of addiction that you can’t stop,” Hawley said. “But one of the things that is neat about motorsports is that you can still be competitive as you get older. In other sports there are physical limitations, and you don’t see people competing at a high level in their forties and fifties.
“That’s different in motorsports. There are a lot of older drivers in all types of racing that are pretty good drivers.”
There is proof of that. Hurley Haywood is still competitive in Grand Am, though he says he will cut back on his 2008 race schedule with Brumo’s Porsche. Kenny Bernstein has retired and un-retired several times, but seems to always be good when he’s in his Top Fuel dragster. Martin seems to be about as good as his equipment in NASCAR’s Sprint Cup.
“Some folks have business opportunities or some other kinds of opportunities, but when a deal presents itself, some guys say, “wow, I feel kind of racy. I’d like to step up and try it again.”
Hawley was one of those guys. He stayed close to the sport at the drag-racing school. He taught a new generation of drag racers about the concepts of visualization. He kept up with the sport’s changing technology.
And before the end of the day, Hawley was, indeed, feeling a little racy.
“I don’t think there’s ever been a time when I haven’t thought that given the right time, the right people and the right situation, I would consider racing again,” he said.
So, he will be back for several NHRA events this season, part of a growing group of graybeards that figure retirement is just a word — one that doesn’t mean what we think it means.