For a little while this year, my computer’s wallpaper was a nice shot of Milka Duno sitting in her IndyCar, helmet on, ready to race.
That was because guys like me — 40-something with an over-active imagination — are interested in women like Duno — the ones with all sorts of college degrees and a license to drive as fast as they want. (OK, not so much the college degrees and the vroom as much as the va-voom.)
But a funny thing happened on the way to Kansas to break up my happy little dream world.
The question in my Milka fantasy went from, “Where’s she been all my life?” to “What’s she doing here?”
When I heard that she’d been cast in the movie, “Speed Racer” as the character, “Gearbox,” I was happy for her and pleased that she and the IndyCar Series were both in safer places. She was in Europe, and the IndyCar Series was somewhere on a track without a moving, Brazilian chicane.
It was just as well for Duno, really. Her team ran out of cars because she had crashed them all, forcing her to miss races even before the series could get to a road course, which was supposed to be her specialty.
But before that, she was one of three women — along with Danica Patrick and Sarah Fisher — in this year’s Indianapolis 500. That was historic. She passed her rookie test and qualified with unexpected ease. She was being coached by Pancho Carter, who was also her spotter and not a bad guy to have in your corner on race day. She actually ran well during the 500, staying out of trouble and at race speed until crashing and finishing 31st. It was a short day, but oddly successful in most eyes.

And she was oh, so charming with a somewhere-far-away accent and eyes that melt guys like me, who are routinely found in the Indianapolis Motor Speedway media center, so bad press was hard to find. Patrick had some company as IndyCar’s queen bee — at least for a while.

Then, the wheels came off — and usually after Duno bounced her car off a wall.
When speaking with Indy Racing League technical official Kevin “Rocket” Blanch about a story on the licensing of drivers, the subject of Duno came up.
Other people had to be wondering just how in the world someone who appeared to have such limited ability on ovals got a license. Her road-racing resume was good enough for just about any series that had right turns as well as left, but ovals were a different animal, and she was obviously over her head.
Blanch was honest.
Duno’s rookie tests went well, and that’s no small accomplishment at Indianapolis. Each driver has to run 40 laps in four 10-lap phases. Even veterans who come back after an absence of any length — even Michael Andretti — have to run the fourth phase under Blanch’s watch in order to be able to qualify for the Indy 500.
So, Duno had a rookie test before St. Louis and then had to pass another one at Indy.
“She did a great job,” Blanch said. “It was unbelievable how she felt that car oval racing. She knew exactly what it needed and what she wanted out there. Then, she got out there and had some bad things happen, and she lost all her confidence. All of a sudden, it looks like she doesn’t deserve to be there, but she’d lost her confidence and I think the crashes and all of that was in the back of her mind every time she went out.”
For Duno, the world seemed to be spinning too quickly around her. Racing lines were the stuff of myth.
Maybe a return to the road course at Daytona for the 24 Hours will help that all-important confidence to return. And maybe she will find her way back to the form that got her that IRL license to begin with.
Guys like me hope so.
If not, well, Milka, we’ll always have Indy.