In a racing career that spanned six decades, our happiest times were those early years spent announcing races.
To paraphrase Professor Harold Hill of “The Music Man,” “... I consider that the hours I spent with a (microphone) in my hand are golden (and) help cultivate horse sense and a cool head and keen eye ...”  
Interacting with a grandstand full of fans, establishing a rapport with them and communicating clear and useful information to help them understand what was happening was always a joy and a challenge.
Later, when the newsletter Racing Promotion Monthly began publication and the Promoters Workshops were established, sessions on finding and training announcers were always on the agenda. Over the years we developed and offered a very comprehensive “announcer’s kit” with race meet check lists, suggested announcements and other information. It has since been used by the best short-track announcers in the business and is still available from Stewart Doty at RPM.
Considering the announcer is arguably the most important member of the track crew (he is, after all, the only one in direct contact with the paying customer), it is surprising that there are still so many untrained and incompetent announcers out there.
Not just at our short tracks, but in the booths at racing’s biggest events. Since retirement affords us the luxury of race surfing from a big leather recliner, we have been keeping a clipboard at hand to catalog the verbal abuses committed regularly by broadcasters alleged to be professionals.
Working backward from the worst (“Boogity”), we offer herewith an “X-list” of worn-out cliches that should be expunged from the vocabulary of anyone describing an auto race:
n“He’s a man on a mission!”
nReferences to cars as “hot rods” and “rocket ships”
n“Front nose and front windshield” (as opposed to rear nose and rear windshield?)
n“Up on the wheel” (is this a race driver or a monkey?)
n“Back in the day” is getting VERY worn out.
n“Cut down a tire” is a politically correct euphemism required of announcers so they avoid saying that a precious Goodyear tire flat blew out.
nReferring to people as “cats,” and to a situation as, “that deal” — these are old Richard Pettyisms, and should be retired, thank you.
n“From the git-go” should git GONE!
n“Didn’t get it whoa’d up.” Shame on ya, Jerry Punch!
n“He hit it a hard lick” (Even “a ton” is better than this. Punch again?)
Much of the above is derived from Southern speech idioms, which have their charm, but have been worn to a frazzle by overuse. In this high-tech era when mega-marketing and professionalism are the mantra, we should be able to clean up the hillbillyisms without permanent damage.
But let’s keep Larry “Ha sod” McReynolds for comic relief. He’s racing’s Yogi Berra. To quote him, “Ah cain’t help but stress enough ...”
Even the anchor people tend to fall into pretentious (read, BAD) habits, as in, “As we alluded to at the top of the show.”And did Mike Joy really say, “Let’s transition back to the second pack?”
Some grandfatherly advice, guys: 1. Slow down. 2. Try to engage brain before starting mouth. 3. E-N-U-N-C-I-A-T-E (you could look it up).
Yeah, we know — you have to play to the Bubbas, but NASCAR won’t hold it against you if you flatter them by being reasonably cogent.
There is hope, we believe. But beware. Our favorite motormouth Errol Fogdrip is said to be working on something really big. He was heard out behind the trailer practicing something like, “Biggity, Baggity, Buggity, Bumpity, Boopity ...”
Don’t say we didn’t warn you,